surrounded by something

hi all
squid here
and im going to share some thoughts....


so lately some shit has been going down
like you know, the hurricane, one after another and watching people getting hurt and loosing everything
then the war is still going on and our troops are bing killed for what i think is a oil war, which im an not for, but i will never abandon the american troops and what they are doing.. EVER

and grunt is still over in the big sand box and i worry about him everyday, and hope and pray nothing ever bad happens to him

then my friends brother was killed, and it broke my heart to see him so crushed, and i worry about him and his family and how they are taking it day by day.

also one of my friends was seriously burned and is still recovering, and i worry about her and he future and how she is going to recover.

and on top of all that i recently had the luck of having a near death experiance at work a two days ago at work when i was right next to a piece of machenery that failed and blew smoke in my face and knocked me of a ladder. which has shook me for the last couple days now.

with all of this happening and the weather so crappy it has put me on a thought process of when and why and how death is going to come knocking on my door someday
which truly does scare me a little, but not to the point where i am going to stop living my life and working my job.

but it worries me,

i really dont know where im going with this post, and i really dont know how im going to end this.

well here, i can end it this way, with a little story

i was at my parents house one day, and my sister was there, we were all around the kitchen table, and i was telling them about my friend and how she got burnt really bad on her ship (60% of her right side of her body), and my mother asked me a question.

how dangerios is your job? and i repplied that what happened her to, could happpen to me easialy, and that if somehting happens at work, it probobly would be bad. then the next phrase out of my mouth shocked all of them,

i told them how i would like to be burried and where and how. what shocked them was not what i wanted, but the age i am and how i had already thought it through with such clairity and sincerity.

i found my sister stairing at me and then asking if she could keep a bit of my ashes, and i replied no and that i would like my plans to be respected and done to the T. and my mother then repplied that she would do what i asked if it ever happened.


what i guess what i wanted to say in this post is that, even though grunt and i do some stupid shit, and do some extreem sports, and work very dangerious jobs, that we are still grounded, we both talk about this sometimes, and how what we want each other to do if the other happens to go to the final extreem and out do the other for life here.. if you kinda get what i am saying. (no suicide, thats for wimps)

all i know is that if anything ever happened to me, i know grunt would take care if anything that i left behind.


so with that great downer of a post
i am going to sign off, visit my friend
go home cook some supper and sit with the room mate
and contomplate weather or not im going to drive to burlington to see a movie or not

have a good safe week and weekend
and live life
cuz today was the tomorrow you dreamed about yesterday

Squid out