Dark Side Of the Middle Man

hi all
squid here

well just a not here,
some info that is usless, but hay most of this sight is
but thats the best part of it right!?

so anyways, grunt is off in the sand box
im here in hill country
and my friends are scattered round the world
e-mail, Im'ing and some phone calls keep everyone in touch
but some times these conversations turn on people
it is very easy to let your "Darker side" seep out everyonece and a while

even though it is good for the sole, some times it not so good for the other party!!

so anyways, here is alittle story for you

well i was talking to my friend, she is a great girl, tough on the out side
little bit soft on the inside
i really like her as a friend, a real trooper
her life has not been easy for the last year and a half
not saying that anyone else's has
but anyways she was having a vent session with me
and thats cool, im all for that, it was on IM by the way
so moven on
i could not get her out of her funk
it is tough, so tryen to get her out of her funk
i fell in to one of my own
i started in on my touchy subject, that noone touches
cuz i told them not to, cuz i get really ugly
i mean really ugly, my dark side starts to show its self
and when that starts up, people start moven away from me

quotes
sister "Yeah when squid gets mad, move away and let him be, you dont want to be in that blast radious!"
Mother "When he goes quiet, that means its getting really bad really quick"
mma frined "when his safity lifed, he made kids cry"
high school friend "he does not get physical, but man, you wish he did"

now this "dark side" usualy takes alot to uncover its self
but that night, i guess it had to sick its ugly head out
so i got on the issue of my x-fiance (yes i have one of thoes)
and i started in on how i feel about it, and her
now noone but grunt really know how i feel about it

you should have heard or read some of the shit that came out of my mouth
i starteled my self with a phrase or two
no four letter words where used either
this was no name calling batt
it was my really ugly thoughts on my computer screen
when i stopped, my kitten on the other side didnt respond back
thats when i knew i had dropped the ball here
i knew that i let too mcuh out again
and i scared her alittle

then i just said, well fuck it, and turned off the computer, i knew there was no saving this conversation that night, so i gave up and hoped to talk to her the next morning
which i did, she never talked about the issue i brought up, but she still talks to me, but not about the x issue, noone really does, better that way!

now i wont say it feltgood to get some of that out in the air, but all i got to say is if you have some of that in you. like some really really deep scar, that wont ever heal! you need only one trusted person, luckly i got grunt, and christina, two very close friends that i can talk to and let that out, and it wont phase them how i talk some times

grunt and i have had these conversation when we wehre living together, which was nice, we could talk about anything, and we still can, cuz one or the other will groud the other, making sure to point out all the things that the other is not seeing, and also to sometimes just listen

so moven to the end here
everyone has a darkside, and it is ok to have it
just remember to let it come out at the right times

squid signen off
later peeps, back to my goofy self